A new poll from Business Insider asserts that Americans are forgiving of politicians who cheat on their wives. HUFF Post LIVE host Jacob Soboroff provided a LIVE panel discussion to address this topic. Panelists included:

• Marriage and Family Therapist – Dr. Karen Ruskin
• HUFF Post Senior Polling Editor – Mark Blumental
• Contributing Editor Daily KOS – Steve Singiser
• Presidential Historian and Former Director of the Nixon Presidential Library – Tim Naftali

Can you believe it? There are sympathizers of the Boston marathon bombers! Many people are outraged, hurt, and rightfully so. Many cannot understand what is going on in the mind of those who sympathize with those who have committed such a horrific crime. FOX 25 News Boston’s anchor Mike Beaudet interviewed Dr. Karen Ruskin to shed some light on this from the psychotherapeutic perspective .

My theory is a combination platter of three: 1) Denial, 2) Defense, and 3) Excitement/Reality Creation. This interview where I explain this theory is available for viewing On Demand:
Boston News, Weather, Sports | FOX 25 | MyFoxBoston

Why do husband’s cheat and stay in their marriage, yet continue to cheat? How can a wife re-connect with her husband after the loss of a child? A man who with-holds love when his girlfriend is “bad” – is this acceptable? Why are women not interested in the nice guy? Marriage and Family Therapist Dr. Karen Ruskin answered these 4 questions LIVE on air today on Ask Dr. Karen!

Ask Dr. Karen is FOX 25 News Boston’s regular monthly segment where viewers submit their relationship questions, anchor Sorboni Banerjee asks them on air, and Dr. Karen provides the answers in her usual tell it like it is no-nonsense practical approach to life’s relational challenges! Watch NOW for Viewing On Demand- Click the Play Button Below:

Boston News, Weather, Sports | FOX 25 | MyFoxBoston

34% of working moms are the sole bread winner in their home, according to a new poll published by CareerBuilder.com. It is this topic that WWL-AM/FM radio’s reliable Psychotherapist Guest Expert and Marriage and Family Therapist Dr. Karen Ruskin shared her insights LIVE on air. While on Tommy Tucker’s show this doc shared concrete practical tips for both the wife and the husband to have a successful marriage. What can the husband do so he does not feel like an employee? Will the kids be healthy with what may be considered a parenting role reversal? Are we as a culture changing in what is defined as being a mother? A father? What is being a provider? For some couples mom bringing home the bacon causes marital disharmony, for others it is a gift. What is the difference between couples and families who this dynamic works for whereas others it puts strain on the relationship? These questions and more are answered by Dr. Karen Ruskin in her usual direct no nonsense humorous style.

This LIVE interview is available for listening on demand: Working Moms Sole Bread Winner – Dr. Karen’s Tips.

If you wish to learn more do-able tips for a happy and successful marriage, check out: Dr. Karen’s Marriage Manual.

In the news this past week includes a horrific story, unimaginable, of 3 abducted women living in a house of true emotional, physical, and sexual abusive horror in Cleveland. Now that these 3 women, as well as the 6 year old child of one of the women are free of the shackles and abuse, many wonder what lies ahead for these Cleveland women. What is life like post trauma? Below you will find Psychotherapist, Human Behavior Expert, and Family Therapist Dr. Karen Ruskin’s answer to this very question. What is the good news and the bad news for these women is answered as follows.  

Ariel Castro Abducted 3 Women Abusing Them Emotionally, Physically, And Sexually For 10 Years + 

• Amanda Berry (Daughter Jocelyn is 6 years old. At this time believed to be born from a traumatic conception due to Ariel Castro raping Amanda)
• Gina DeJesus
• Michelle Knight

This will not be an easy road for Amanda Berry’s 6 year old little girl

Bad News-

The 6 year old will likely experience:

• Conflicting feelings
• Confusion- difficulty countering messages ingrained since birth
• Experience challenges surrounding navigating a new universe as the world she lived in was the only world she ever knew
• Basic questions of identity (e.g., understanding what does a traumatic conception mean for a child born from that union)

Good News-

A child as young as 6 has a solid chance of healing from and overcoming such a traumatic life with the right kind of treatment (targeted counseling over time) and a supportive, loving, and patient family and community support. Such a child can live to be a happy, healthy, and productive person. An important key to the 6 year old’s recovery is the bond and strong relationship between she and her mother. Steps to make her feel safe and protected and understand what has happened, along with answering any questions through out her life journey will help her to navigate.

This will not be an easy road for these 3 brave women; Amanda, Gina, and Michelle, nor for any person who has gone through such an unimaginable suffering

Bad News-

These 3 women will likely experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Symptoms they will likely experience for a long time ahead include:

• Feeling like they are re-living their traumatic life/Feeling like the events of trauma are re-occurring
• Recollection of their trauma in awake state and in sleep state
• Feeling detached from others
• Difficulty sleeping (falling asleep, staying asleep)
• Lack of interest in participating in enjoyable activities
• Exaggerated startle response
• Irritability
• Relational challenges such as difficulty trusting
• Self identity in question
• Self worth issues/low sense of self esteem
• Sexual difficulties

Depending on their family relationship pre-abduction, and their family relationship post-abduction will be a significant difference that makes the difference in their journey of healing, coping, understanding, acceptance, recovery, and moving forward. If there is a lack of family support the feeling of worthlessness and life is not worth living, will be tapped in to, as likely Ariel Castro’s behaviors brought out this very feeling. In addition, the right kind of treatment will be necessary. Also, the internal drive to live, the desire to thrive, the belief that freedom means to live, rather than to die will play a role in each of these women’s mental status and what is to come. This will be a difficult road ahead, and that is the reality, which is the bad news.

Good News-

The 3 women’s emotional challenges and the obstacles they will encounter from living a large portion of their lives in fear of injury and death and being abused emotionally, physically, and sexually will be a challenge every day. Their thoughts and feelings will need to be addressed on going through out their life journey. Not just in one single point in time. The good news is that with the right kind of treatment (including Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and family love, patience, and support – they have a good chance of living happy, productive, and successful lives. (An example would include Elizabeth Smart who is an advocate for missing persons and found love and is married).

Ariel Castro and Sexual Predators – Psychoanalyzed

Can sexual predators be helped with treatment? Change their ways? What are the psychological traits of a sexual predator? If this topic interests you, if you want to know the answers to these questions, check out my blog article entitled: Ariel Castro And Sexual Predators – Psychoanalyzed.

Dr. Karen Ruskin appears LIVE on air on FOX News Channel’s Sean Hannity on May 9th; What Lies Ahead For The Cleveland Women.

Can sexual predators like Ariel Castro be helped with treatment? Can such a sexual abuser change their ways? What are the psychological traits of a sexual predator? Here it is folks! The answers to the questions you want to know. As a human behavior expert and Psychotherapist I am going to lay it out there in black and white and I open up the discussion for YOU to decide.

I am sure you have heard by now of Ariel Castro, adult male who abducted 3 females 10+ years ago and held them captive in his home. Emotional, physical, and sexual abuse was consistent. Clearly Ariel Castro is a sexual predator. What else is he? A molester? Certainly. A Psychopath? A Sociopath? Evil? A monster? A criminal? Sick in the mind? You decide. Take out your analytical skills, read my talking points below, and determine what you think based on what you know thus far.

Talking Points – Ariel Castro And Sexual Predators Psychoanlayzed

Distorted Thinking

Molesters use distorted thinking to rationalize and justify their crimes. In this way they make their own needs more important.

Psychopaths And Sociopaths

Some Psychopaths and Sociopaths are so good at acting normal and at manipulation that those around them never suspect their true nature.

Psychopaths and Sociopaths are terms used in psychology and criminology and often used interchangeably. There is controversy over whether they share the same qualities. They do share many traits, which is the main source of confusion for differentiating them. Psychopaths and Sociopaths are considered subsets of people with antisocial personality traits. Traits that Psychopaths and Sociopaths share include:

• A disregard for the rights of others
• A failure to feel remorse or guilt
• A disregard for laws and social morals
• A tendency to display violent behavior and emotional outbursts

Not all mental health professionals agree on what differentiates Psychopaths from Sociopaths. For those who believe they are separate disorders the following is a key differentiation:

Psychopaths

Psychopathy stems from a physiological defect in the brain that results in the underdevelopment of the part of the brain that is responsible for impulse control and emotion. Psychopaths don’t feel guilt or remorse. They would commit crimes against family or friends as well as strangers.

Sociopaths

Sociopathy is more the product of childhood traumas and abuse. They have no empathy nor attachment to the greater society and will not feel guilt in harming a stranger but some can emotionally attach to others and feel badly when they hurt those individuals they are attached to.

Insanity

We as a public typically refer to brutal and savage behaviors that are the unimaginable as insane. Ariel Castro is certainly an example of water cooler talk in terms of stating; “He is insane!”. In clinical terms, Castro’s horrific behavior and crime would likely not be classified as insane because from what we the public know to date, he was fully conscious of his actions and intentions. Do we know this for sure? Of course not, as we have not interviewed him. This blog is simply to provide education and offer thought provoking analysis to a topic on everyone’s mind.

Psychological Traits Of A Sexual Predator

• Low self esteem
• Need for power and control
• Lack of empathy
• Often had a troubled childhood
• Display deviant sexual behaviors and attitudes
• Refuse to take responsibility for their actions

Abusers Often Say They Were Abused Themselves – Sexual Offenders Often Say They Were Sexually Molested

As a Psychotherapist for 20 years, it has been my experience, and is agreed among experts in the mental health industry that typically, abusers and molesters report they were abused and molested when they were young. For an example, 78% of Pedophile offenders state they were themselves victims (American Psychological Association). It is not an “excuse” for their behavior, and does not make their actions acceptable. Rather it is a point of information.

Treatment

Risk Evaluation

Mental health and wellness professionals, including Psychotherapists and Psychologists are put in a position of having to evaluate the level of risk an individual poses to a community while considering the individual liberty concerns of an offender. This is tricky to balance and evaluate and make an accurate determination because there is no definitive way to know for certain. Should we not err on the side of caution? What do you think?

A one sized therapeutic treatment model does not fit for all people who have committed sexual crimes. One component is that people commit these crimes for different reasons, and that plays a role in treatment and treatment outcome. Many experts are of the belief that there isn’t much hope that treatment works for sex offenders. Sex offenders as clients often do not disclose all of their crimes or sexual deviant thoughts. Also, they often do not realize the severity of their actions. Although, there are experts who believe that treatment is an option. The effectiveness of treatment for sex offenders published in Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment (Vol. 14, No. 2) 2002 shows the difference between sex offenders who were treated and those who were not. The analysis shows that there is a difference between those who were treated versus not.  The problem though, that is voiced among many experts in the mental health industry is that some sex offenders are highly predatory and psychopathic/sociopathic, which will make a difference in terms of whether treatment can help or not. One would likely evaluate and determine about Ariel Castro, based on what we know, which is that not only is he a sexual predator, a sexual offender, he is also a Psychopath or a Sociopath. What do you think? A candidate for treatment or not?

Generally Speaking

Generally speaking, therapy can help a person to allow them-self to confront and thus figure out why they did what they did to understand one’s self better. Therapy can help you to free yourself from the compulsion to do it (whatever the “it” is again), once what our unconscious needs are, are uncovered, and one is honest about one’s self. It is this cognitive therapy component that can help people develop insight and thus stop their negative behavior patterns. It is the behavioral portion of therapy that provides people with concrete behavioral actions they can take that is different from their old patterns of behavior. Hence why cognitive behavioral therapy is so helpful, especially with a caring therapist who is solution based. The problem is, some people are resistant to any kind of therapy as confronting certain truths would lead to the danger of crumbling emotionally.

Specifically Speaking

When it comes to Psychopaths specifically, there are experts who suggest there is not any treatment for Psychopaths because it is a disorder of the personality. For those who believe in the distinction between Psychopaths and Sociopaths, and believe they can 100% know the difference upon evaluating such a person, then those experts may believe treatment is possible for the Sociopath since it is considered an environmental cause, even though it is a personality disorder. The etiology is different. But, there are many mental health professionals who say; when it comes to nature versus nurture how much affects one versus the other?

If no treatment technique can 100% produce a cure, if the sexual predator must consistently use skills he has learned to avoid his impulse combined with hormonal treatment – who would feel confident to give such an individual the stamp of approval to mix among the community?

Analyze That!

Now that you have read the aforementioned, you tell me. What do you think? Is Ariel Castro a sexual predator? A molester? An abuser? A Psychopath? A Sociopath? Can he be helped with treatment? What about others who have committed sexual crimes – can they change their ways? Should each case be evaluated on a case by case basis? What’s your analysis?

• If you find this blog interesting you may also wish to read: What Lies Ahead For The Cleveland Women? Link included of Dr. Karen Ruskin’s appearance on FOX News Channel’s Sean Hannity, discussing this horrific case.

The Cleveland Women – what a house of horrific torture! As a psychotherapist, as a woman, as a mother, as a person – I am horrified. This is a devastating scenario of what these girls, these women experienced. The long terms effects of such trauma will be a journey.

Dr. Karen Ruskin to appear on FOX News Channel’s; Hannity, to share my insights from the lens of a human behavior expert. Tune in LIVE May 9th, 2013 9:00 PM ET.

This interview is available for viewing on demand:

Boston Magazine called upon this Relationship Expert; Dr. Karen Ruskin, to share my insight regarding sex tips for adult singles. Rachel Slade interviewed me for this article: A Quick Guide To Adult Sex In 2013 – check out my 5 tips.

Shine.Yahoo.com asked this family therapist and parenting expert for insight into Prom Dress Wars. Specifically, there are girls who use social media to assure their prom dress is not purchased by nor worn by a peer on prom night and the question is; is this okay? There are varied responses, in fact there was a massive amount of commentary from readers regarding this article and my perspective. Check out my interview with Shine.Yahoo.com for this article written by Sarah B. Weir.

DatingAdvice.com sought out this Marriage Therapist for insights into marriage expectations. Specifically, I provided this informative site with a blog article offering concrete insight answering the following two questions:  

1. What are the key contributing factors in becoming a person with high expectations of marriage?
2. How can you tell if your marriage expectations are too high?

In addition, I offer 3 practical tips for a successful marriage of which expectations does not drown the marital journey.

Check it out: Your Marriage Expectations Are Too High If . . .

Also, if you want more tips for a healthy happy marriage that lasts, if you want additional practical strategies to enhance your marriage, I invite you to take a sneak peak and order your copy of Dr. Karen’s Marriage Manual, today. As talked about on FOX & Friends.