TODAY Show, Monday July 26th “Today’s Relationships” discussed the NY Times article; “Married, but Sleeping Alone”. I am in opposition to the stance the two “relationship experts” held. Section 2 of my marriage book coming out Summer/Fall 2011 NOW AVAILABLE Dr. Karen’s Marriage Manual states the top ways to destroy your marriage. Specifically I list the ABC’s of marital don’ts which includes over 20 marital blunders, sleeping in different beds is one of them. I also list the top “excuses” for why people sleep in separate beds, to my clinical dismay those were stated as rational reasons by the guests on the show today.
Marriages are falling apart around us, instead of confronting and resolving marital issues many are distancing themselves further by sleeping in separate bedrooms. This is not what helps marriages.
In contrast to the guest Argie Allen’s assertion, I believe there is absolutely a marital problem when sleeping in separate beds. Another guest therapist via satellite stated sleeping in separate beds is “really effective for the relationship”. Oh my goodness, that is outrageous. It is absolutely not effective for the relationship. I was steaming when Argie took the stance that it is good for some and not for others, this is inaccurate in my opinion as a relationship strategist and relationship expert. Marriage has become too gray overall, rather there are things in marriage that is black and white and sleeping in separate beds is good for no one. She even went so far as to assert that older people are “not worried about connecting at night” and therefore whether they are sleeping in separate beds does not matter. This is a disturbing statement! In my opinion, just because you are old you can still connect, good grief!