John Edwards, another case of infidelity! Dr. Ablow’s verbalization on America Live With Megyn Kelly today are wrong says this relationship expert. Ablow’s verbalization opens the door for acceptance of a marital philosophy of the inclusion of cheating which I vehemently believe is unhealthy for the mental wellness of America! His statements are of acceptance and approval of lying, cover-ups, lack of compassion/empathy, betrayal, and then even explaining that those character traits in a man holds no significance in America’s decision of who should be president, or who should hold a position of political power. Are you kidding me? Is this some kind of sick joke? I find this concerning and disturbing as a marriage therapist. Infidelity is not okay, it is not okay. It is not a given in a marriage nor should be considered as such.
Provided below are just but a few of Ablow’s statements during his interview and this psychotherapist’s reaction:
Dr. Ablow said: “I always say infidelity is never a reason to end a marriage.”
Dr. Ruskin states: WRONG! Betrayal, breaking your marital deal, and lack of compassion for your wife and her feelings may very well be the very reason to end a marriage! It is not always, but certain is not NEVER. For some couples their marriage can grow and enhance post an affair, I see this often in my work with couples helping them to heal and re-connect post an affair. For others an affair destroys the marriage.
Dr. Ablow said: “This is about American’s wanting to use others sex lives to get high on eroticism themselves!”
Dr. Ruskin states: What an OBNOXIOUS statement about the American people and quite WRONG AGAIN. The character of the president and other politicians IS of significance! Americans are genuinely concerned about our country and are evaluating character and should.
Dr. Ablow said: “The way a person conducts his sex life has no bearing in how they will conduct themselves in other aspects of their lives.”
Dr. Ruskin states: WRONG! Covering up your pregnant girlfriend and getting money from the campaign to pay for it IS showing how you will and do conduct yourself in other aspects of your life. This is the very reality of how affairs always creep into other areas causing damage. How a man treats his wife has everything to do with his character, it is not separate from.
Dr. Ablow called Bill O’Reilly and Megyn Kelly narcissists.
Dr. Ruskin says: HOW DARE HE! HOW UNPROFESSIONAL and INCONSIDERATE! As a psychiatrist he should know better then to throw out an actual diagnosis with such conviction without true evaluation. This was not funny, I found it clinically distasteful. It is my assertion that you do not have to have narcissistic personality disorder to be successful. In fact, qualities such as; passion, motivation, drive, and determination are not considered “symptoms” of narcissistic personality disorder and yet are typically traits of a person of success.
Dr. Ablow explained: If the love child ends up the president someday we will all feel “dumb” and say it was “supposed to happen”.
Dr. Ruskin states: HORRIFIC that Ablow directly infers the end justifies the means! To have no empathy for the women men cheat on and rationalize it, I say is against standard marriage counseling class 101. The end certainly does not justify the means. Taking ownership of one’s cheating behaviors is imperative for a healthy self and a healthy marriage.
Dr. Ablow is giving polyamory the thumbs up if you consider what he has asserted. At the same time he gives cheating the thumbs up as well, and they are two very different things.
Dr. Ablow asserts: “The right thing to do is to keep it a secret.” Oh my, WRONG AGAIN. I educate my clients to confront with honesty. Infidelity and certainly having a child with the woman you cheated on your wife with (ill wife in Edwards’ case) is unhealthy for the emotional/mental health and well being of the individuals involved, the couple, the children, our culture, our society.
There are times I agree with Dr. Ablow’s assertions in his articles and news interviews and then there are times I disagree. This is clearly one of those times I disagree.
If you did not watch the segment addressed in this blog, check it out: America Live With Megyn Kelly.
If you desire to have a healthy, long lasting, happy marriage, check out my newest release: Dr. Karen’s Marriage Manual, as seen on FOX & Friends. Included is a section on how to prevent cheating, cheating warning signs, and how to get back your marriage post infidelity.
You are welcome to view a debate between Dr. Ruskin and Dr. Ablow on a different topic which aired on The O’Reilly Factor: Is The Media Exploiting Charlie Sheen.