Be A Man?

When you see the words; “Be A Man”, what do those words mean to you? What does it mean to be a man these days? Is it confusing? Is it attainable? A male that is married with children, what would being a man look like in his mind’s eye? In the eyes of a wife, how would she describe being a man? What about a child, what is a child’s perspective of one’s father and being a man? Males that are in their youth, young men, single men, married men, older men – what do these males think it is to be a man and how do they come to their perspective?

Does a child grow up to define what a man is based on what one’s own father was not, or rather what one’s own father was and is? Can a son be more of a “man” that his father was? Or rather do boys become men similar to their father? Can a girl become a woman that picks a “man” that is more of a man than her father was? Or rather, do women pick men that are what they recall their father was like during childhood?

Do males experience pressure to be men, and the definition is so confusing that males are unclear what being men really is? Specifically, is being a man mean that you present as physically and emotionally strong? Do men need to have the quality of strength combined with sensitivity to the feelings of those they love? What if the male is too sensitive, who decides and defines whether the male is too sensitive and then is no longer considered manly? If you are a male, ask yourself; am I assertive and opinionated? Often males are considered men if they are, since that displays strength in one’s behavior. Yet, to be a man, does this same male also need to be open minded and interested in what one’s spouse’s needs are and what one’s child’s needs are? Does a man need to be interested in those around him; friends, colleagues, employees, employers, yet not too interested in that he and his family comes first? What does that balance look like as a man? What is the order of what and whom comes first as a man?

Does a man have to be a lion at work, and not at home? Rather does being a man mean that you fit in at work and are a part of the group, and at home you are a leader? Can you be a leader at home where others do not feel like you are being bossy? Pushy? Controlling? What is a successful man? What is the description of a man that is a good provider? Is it as simple as bringing home enough money that everyone in the house has their needs met and then some? Or rather is being a good provider as a man mean you need to provide financially and be emotionally available as well? Is being a man mean that you should have the skill and art of productive communication and have solutions, because certainly your spouse and children want to know that you have the answers and can and are taking care of them? Yet, if you always feel you know what is better/right and have all the answers and talk too much, might that not be descriptive of being a man? Is being a good listener being a man? Is being a man mean that the male no longer gets to have the silly playfulness that he once had because it no longer is considered a manly attractive quality and rather it is annoying and lacks in seriousness and responsible behavior in the mind’s eye of the woman that loves him?

Perhaps being a man means you need to be just the right combination of; fun and silly (at just the right moments), serious (at just the right time), assertive, aggressive, a lion, a leader, and skillful at being part of a team (at the correct time), sensitive, compassionate, and empathetic (all with correct timing), responsible, reliable, dependable, and consistent, yet also spontaneous, physically fit so you look strong and are healthy (without your exercise time interfering with family time), social (without it interfering with family time), funny with a great sense of humor (without being offensive), available and attentive to family where they feel they are #1 and also achieve success at work. Is that what the expectations are of being a man? Is all of this really the expectations of being a man?

I ask you, consider, what is it to be a man today? Are you that man? Is your spouse that man? Can the definition you have of what being a man is be attained? Do you need to make improvements to become the man you want to be? Do you feel overwhelmed trying to be the man you want to be? Do you feel the expectations your family places on you are too high to be the man they want you to be? Do you accept who you are as a man? Does your family accept who you are as a man? Do you accept who your spouse is as a man? What are you teaching your daughter, your son? Do you want to make shifts or stay just as you are? Do you want to improve and enhance who you are as a man, if yes, what steps can you take today?

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