Steps To Survive Post Divorce – For Women
For those of you who regularly read my blog, you are familiar with my style. My style is: I write all of my own blogs, that’s it, bottom line. As a Psychotherapist/Marriage and Family Therapist, I share my insights and practical tips addressing a wide range of topics including: marriage, parenting, women’s issues, men’s issues, mental health and wellness, political topics from a psychotherapeutic lens, hot topics in the news, and more… I write in a style that tells the reader like it is. I am often asked by other bloggers to put their article on my site. Recently, an article which includes 5 steps to help women survive post divorce written by Patricia (AKA Patty) Samson was the requested post. I decided to approve the posting of this easy to follow article, as I believe you, my readers, will find it of value. Patty is an architect. She believes that women can do anything if they set their mind to it. She helps women to become empowered and teaches them to fix their own plumbing, simple electrical wiring and household remodeling. Check out Patty’s article below. I imagine that both men and women would find her words of value, although her article was written with women in mind.
To survive and recover during a divorce, keep in mind the following steps while you heal
By: Patricia Samson
Focus on Your Children
There will be so many times you will feel like you’ve failed, but in the eyes, heart and mind of your child, you are super mom.
Divorce is more than heartbreak, it’s a physical, financial and emotional disruption. Your once whole family is now broken, and pieces need to be put back together to create a brand new puzzle. While navigating the aftermath of your separation, the wellbeing of your children is your top priority. The beauty of children is they’re resilient and forgiving. Amidst the chaos, children may be resentful and angry, but more than anything, they need love and support from you — super mom. Communicate openly with your children and ask them about their feelings. Shield your children from financial and legal issues and family disputes. Overall remember, just because your marriage failed doesn’t mean you’re a failure as a mother.
Reclaim Your Identity
You can break down a woman temporarily, but a real woman will always pick up the pieces, rebuild herself, and come back stronger than ever.
As a single mother, you may feel not whole, as if you’ve lost your identity. It’s never too late for starting over, re-establishing who you are and protecting your identity. A new identity is sacred. If you’ve always identified yourself as the wife of your husband or housewife, this is the time to define yourself as someone independently of another person. Explore relationships and activities that make you feel happy and strong. With some introspection, you can re-define yourself, move forward and become someone who’s more than a “housewife” or a “single mom.”
Find your strong.
If you’re going through a divorce, then you’ve most likely been living unhealthy for some time, whether it’s been your physical or emotional health that has been sacrificed. Exercise is always an effective way to healthily handle stress, face emotional turmoil and clear your head. The feel-good endorphins of exercise will help you recover from your separation and see your new life in a new light. Start running or try yoga to get strong — physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Keep Your Faith
She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future.
Never let your faith be threatened by the disappointment and struggles of divorce. Your faith in God and yourself is indestructible. From the stress of moving to a new home and dealing with finances to the painful loss of your husband and marriage, your faith will help guide you through your new beginning.
You are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with so be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down.
Going through a divorce is a private experience, and it’s easy to resort to shutting the world out. Accept the support of close friends and family, whether you’re lamenting frustrations or getting out and about. Even if you’d rather be alone, social interaction will help you during the healing process. Now that you and your former partner have made the decision to eliminate the toxicity of your marriage by terminating it, you can rebuild your life and introduce positive people with whom you want to share this new chapter.