Putting the Honey Back in’Honey, I’m Home’ is the name of an article published in The Wall Street Journal last week, the topic referred to marriage. This relationship expert agrees that greeting one’s spouse upon coming home, or even being excited to see one’s spouse after work is not happening in far too many homes. After reading this article I decided that it would be important to offer my readers 6 techniques to help increase the marital connection within this particular topic of discussion.
- Recognize and take the time mentally daily to appreciate what you do have in your life with your spouse as a marriage. Be consciously aware on a daily basis of what you have specifically in your life (details small and big) because of the marital union and because of this person being in your life. Also, be consciously aware overall as a whole what you have in your life.
- Be mindful that the stress you have experienced at work on any given day is separate from your marital relationship. The goal with this mindful awareness is that when you come home not to bring your stress into the relationship, rather leave it at the office. Make a conscious decision and daily effort to have home and your marriage as separate parts of your life. Cherish, enjoy, and relish in your marriage. Do not worry, tomorrow is another day to go back to the office, no need to spend all of your marital time thinking about work.
- Allow yourself to be patient and compassionate of your spouse’s behavior. Be sure to remind yourself that no one is perfect. So, if your spouse says something or does something irritating, rather than that being the straw that breaks the camel’s back (and by camel I mean you), take a slow deep breath and then smile and tell yourself in your mind, no one is perfect and that is okay.
- Be cognizant of the systemic nature of the marital relationship. This means that the couple is an ever changing system that impacts one another. Therefore something you say or do affects your spouse just as your spouse’s words and actions affects you. Thus, one person can be the difference that makes the difference in a couple dynamic. Be that person and make wonderful choices as the choices you make affects your spouse and the couple since the couple is a system.
- Appreciate the person you are married to as a person, as an individual, each day.
- Take a moment to connect upon seeing each other and do greet each other each day. You and your spouse are worth the time and the effort, are you not?