Club Royale – A Social Experiment – What Makes You Special?

by Dr. Karen Ruskin on December 5, 2010

What makes you special? What makes any particular person special? What does the word special really mean to you? Who struggles with whether or not they feel special? Do we define our sense of whether or not we are special based on how others react to us? Is it our brains that make us special? Is it our visual appearance that makes a person special? Is it who a person is married to that makes one person more seemingly special than another person? Is it money that defines whether one person is seemingly more special than other? Is it celebrity? Is it how you carry yourself? Communication skills? Are you considered special depending on who you are friends with? Does it have to do with how funny you are? Your personality? Is it what you know or who you know? Is it the clothes a person wears? What is it?

Is being special based on how one views one’s own self or how another views us, or is it some combination thereof? Can you feel special in one context and yet not in another? Let’s say for an example the teenage girl that feels special when she is playing basketball but when she is in the classroom at school and her grades are low, she does not feel so special. What about the man that feels special at work as he has accomplished quite a bit through the years but at home he does not have a good relationship with his wife nor his children. Perhaps he does not feel special in the context of his home. Are there people that feel special in all aspects of their life? Are there people that do not feel special at all?

What about a person’s age? Does the older we get make us appear less special or more special to others, or to one’s own self? Perhaps it depends on the context? Let us say for an example, if you are a 24 year old woman going to a dance club on a weekend evening, would you be more likely to get into the club that has a very long line out front if you approached the person guarding the door and asked if you could bypass the line with your fellow youthful girlfriends or rather if the 40 something year old woman and her friends went to this same club? Is the 24 year old more special than the 40 something year old in this context? As an interesting social experiment about what may or may not be perceived as ‘special’, your very own Dr. Karen along with her fellow intellectual and social experimental associates went to a dance club when there was indeed a very long line outside. Upon sharing with the person that gets to make the decisions of who gets to enter and who does not I shared who I am. And what do you think happened? Do you think that a 40 something professionally dressed woman and her colleagues could simply bypass a line of a wide range of ages of males and females scantily clad? What if to make matters seemingly worse this group of therapists brought their husbands with them as well, therefore there is no way that there could be any misrepresenting what their intentions were as to why they were going into the club. Is the age old thought true that what makes a woman special is being young, single, and barely dressed, especially in an environment such as getting into a club? Many women report feeling less special as they age.

Would you like to know the outcome or shall I let you create your own opinion? The outcome was that myself, my associates, and our willing partners in this social experiment did not have to wait on line even but for one moment. We were all ushered in immediately when I told the “decision maker” who I am. So, again, I ask you, what made myself and my associates more special in that moment then all the others that had to wait on line? Perhaps it may be another 20 or so years till my name and a dance club are in the same sentence, but I must admit, a truly lovely evening was had, breaking out my 80’s moves was certainly fun.

I hope you enjoyed this mini exercise of thinking about the idea of what makes a person special. You can create your own analysis and opinion. The point in sharing this social experiment is that perhaps it shall lead you to consider what is special about you to help yourself to take the time to be proud of just being you. YOU are special in your own way, are you not? Think about in what ways you are special and choose to feel good about who you are and relish in the joy of you!

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Cheryl December 6, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Hello,
What an excellent thought to ponder on? And enjoying the experience of not dressing provocative and being able to avoid the long line. Who would of thought?! I feel that everyone is special in their own unique way but that society tells us we are not. This is certainly a struggle for a lot of people, especially when being compared to celebrities and/or other people in your immediate environment. People should really look closely at their positive qualities and focus on them and their uniqueness. Embrace individuality!
Great blog Karen, very thought provoking!

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